


No-One Wants You HAve No Heart (I’m Out Of My Mind) (Ryden)

by Soft_And_Soaked_In_Pain



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Angst, Brendonurie, Hurt, M/M, Nightmares, One Shot, Ryden, Rydon, Songfic, angstwithahappyending, lyrics, ryanross, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-24 17:08:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14958653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soft_And_Soaked_In_Pain/pseuds/Soft_And_Soaked_In_Pain
Summary: No one wants you when you have no heart.Who could love me; I’m out of my mind?





	No-One Wants You HAve No Heart (I’m Out Of My Mind) (Ryden)

NO OME WANTS YOU WHEN YOU HAVE NO HEART

I wake up to the sound of you crying  
And I should ask you what’s wrong; but I don’t. 

And I could tell you it’s going to be okay, but it won’t.  
It won’t be okay.

And I could tell you that I wasn’t afraid; that there was nothing to fear, but there are so many terrifying things in my thoughts and my hands and this room.

And I could tell you I love you, like I used to, but I won’t. 

I could have never made you fall in love, but what’s the fun in that, where’s the fun in setting you safely down on the edge when I could simply dangle you over it?

And I could have never made you stay, but I am so selfish in that respect; making you stay so I can play with you, so I can dangle you in that edge.

I could acknowledge our existence, I could show you the world, but I won’t because that would mean letting you go: setting you free and letting you live. 

And I could sing to you back to sleep as I’ve done a million times but of course I won’t. I won’t sing for you again, I won’t let you take my words away.   
You cry ever so softly, as if you’re crying to yourself, like I never broke your heart. Like I never filled your smile or bribe your bones. As if I wasn’t the reason you were crying all along.  
So I could ask you why. I could beg you to explain. But I won’t.  
Because I’m too stubborn to understand, and too young to care.   
I could ask you what is wrong but I already know the answer. I won’t let you go.   
I could tell you it’s okay, but my darling, it may never be okay again.   
And I could have loved you but I didn’t. I could have saved you if you’d have let me.  
I can’t   
I won’t   
I don’t   
I couldn’t   
I wouldn’t   
I didn’t   
I never was  
I never could   
I never did   
I never lived

And it’s been an hour, you’re still crying. It’s softer now, as if you’ve given up. As if you’ve let go. And I can’t help but look at you. You look so sad, so defeated, like a small child without the ability to bring about change, just crying because they have nothing else they can do

And I really should ask you what’s wrong. I really should care.  
And I suppose that some small part of me does care, I’m just terrified to.   
I’m terrified I’m going to hurt you again. 

“Ryan”  
You don’t hear me. Your lips are poised in a silent scream. 

“Ryan”

You wake with a start. 

“Brenny?”

“Shhh love. It’s going to be okay”

But it’s not. It’s never going to be okay again. 

“No-one wants me”

You say it over and over.   
“No-one wants me”

No. 

No one wants you.  
No one wants you when you have no heart.

No one wants you when you don’t know how to use it.

And no-one wants you when you won’t even try to change.

Except I do. 

I want you.

“I want you”

You look up at me in disbelief. 

“I—I love you”, I choke out.

“Who could love me? I’m out of my mind”, you say closing your eyes.

It sounds almost like a song. Like a stanza of some long forgotten poem. 

And maybe I could love you. 

No one wants you when you have no heart. And no one wants you when you can’t understand your own mind.

But I want you. 

I’m no one. I am but a long forgotten poem in my own rite.

And no one wants you.

Please don’t leave me.

I’m out of my mind

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. Comment and leave kudos if you like.


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